This week a very large package arrived on my front doorstep. My parents have just moved out of the house they lived in for 31 years and they put together a box of things to send me. It’s a veritable time capsule. I was particularly please to be reunited with a shoebox full of pictures and a photo album containing programs, newspaper articles, and pictures of me as a ballet dancer (I was a super cute cat in Peter and the Wolf, I have to say).
Then I found the bad poetry. This was followed by the notes for my “book” (this was a second “novel,” actually, as I had already written one 27 page tome in 4th grade). And then I came across a really really bad paper I wrote about literacy and the workplace (huh?).
But I saved the best for last….the journals. Three to be exact. Three crappy notebooks filled with the most embarrassing sentiments (and horrible spelling) that my earnest little teenage heart could imagine. Here are some of the things I realized about myself:
- I had a paper and pen fetish early on
- I apparently thought that Kelsey was my favorite name (my early diary entries begin, “Dear Kelsey…”)
- I babysat a lot and thought it was something worth writing about
- I thought waaaaaaaaaay too much about boys
- I had a lot of teenage angst (hence the really, really, really bad poetry)
- I am the queen of mixing “deep thoughts” with utterly banal comments about what I did during the day.
- I loved writing lists even as a teenager
To demonstrate this last point, I’ll share one entry with you. The idea for the following “self-improvement” list apparently came from a series of books that belonged to the little girl I was babysitting. I had read one of them because I was bored, and thought that creating a list like one of the main characters would be helpful. Without further ado, here it is:
My Self-Improvement List
- My looks–not my physical looks so much as how I present myself.
- What I wear–speaks for itself [Really? It does? Shouldn’t this be part of #1?]
- Pay close attention to guys [what the hell is that all about? Judging from the rest of the content in this notebook, that’s all I did!]
- Sense of humor–have one
- Be a good sport–lighten up
- Be confident–I like myself, I like myself, I like myself… [I love how this one comes after I point out things I need to “improve”]
- Be myself–don’t try to be someone else
That’s my list so far. I’m sure there’ll be more later on.
And to think, this is the least embarrassing entry….oy. At least my spelling got better.